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The evilest evil that ever did evil [userpic]
Chapter 2
by The evilest evil that ever did evil (remember_nomore)
at April 9th, 2006 (09:32 pm)
indifferent

current mood: indifferent

Title: Cake
By: remember_nomore & gwyddfid
Chapter: 2 of ?
Pairing: Spike/Tara/Lindsey - eventually
Word Count: 2344
Beta: strangecreature

Tara watched from the door as Dawn and Spike headed away from the house, a small smile teased her lips when she saw Spike hug the youngest Summers girl as they walked. ‘Spike’ll be good for her,’ Tara thought, biting her lip and closing her eyes as she shut the door.

Everything shook inside her, making her feel like she was going to cry again. But Tara knew that wasn’t it; Spike’s words hit her in the gut and stung like a wound, making her hurt and ache inside. She was angry at him for mentioning Willow’s name and a big part of her hated was that he was right and that his words made it feel like an obligation to those she’d come to love.

Slowly she walked towards the kitchen, moving around with slow movements as she cleaned up the dishes from the wake. A loud crash of one of the plates hitting the floor broke Tara out of her thoughts and she winced when she felt a sharp pain in her big toe. “Ouch.” Exhaling sharply she moved over to the corner of the island and lifted her foot. “Clumsy.” Reaching down she pulled the small shard of plate from her foot and moved carefully to the door to the basement for the broom.

She reached for the door handle and didn’t realize that her hands were still shaking slightly, a heavy sigh left her lips and Tara leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and trying to let everything come back into focus again without blurring like her vision seemed to be doing more and more frequently these days.

Her mind started that knowing spin as she ran over in her mind things that had happened in the past few months. First with Glory taking her sanity away, then Buffy giving herself up… the final straw was Willow this past summer. Obsessing and focusing on nothing more than finding a way to bring Buffy back. It was noble and a wonderful thought but Tara couldn’t help but feel neglected.

Those feelings were selfish and she shouldn’t have them. Not when she just buried her lover not twelve hours ago, the ground not even hard.

There was an almost mechanical feeling to Tara’s movements as she moved through the kitchen, first sweeping and then clearing all the dishes after the leftovers were placed in the fridge.

Moving quietly, Tara went to the living room to turn on the TV, flipping it on to the weather channel and curling up on the couch. Looking out the window she saw how quiet the streets were. There wasn’t even anyone walking their dog at this time of day.

The house was too quiet for Tara’s current liking, she reached over and turned up the TV a bit more, letting the noise fill the house. Tonight wasn’t any different from any other night. Dawn was either at Spike’s or Janis’ these days, and Xander and Anya had the shop to take care of. There wasn’t much for Tara to do lately but keep quiet, mourn in silence and when people were around smile and take care of everything.

She honestly didn’t mind doing these things, she’d done them when she lived back home and now the only difference was that she loved the people she tried to take care of here in Sunnydale. She used to think she had Willow, but with Willow gone she doesn’t have many valid ties to Sunnydale or this house anymore.

Her eyelids started getting heavier and Tara pulled the blanket from the back of the couch, her mind wondering when she’d become a lonely housewife.

* * * *



Tara wrapped her arms around herself as she walked carefully through the damp cemetery heading towards Spike’s crypt. She promised that she would pick Dawn up so he could go about his other plans Tara was sure he had. Tara didn’t want Dawn to go for her own selfish reasons, but in the end she knew that it was best for the younger girl to be away from that house that was filled with so much misery.

“Can’t imagine Red would've wanted you to skip town and leave Dawn to fend for herself.”

Spike’s words echoed in her mind from the night before and taunted her, digging at her and filling her with guilt. She had never thought of leaving Sunnydale… but last night she was almost ready to. Tara didn’t think she’d ever felt that much anger or rage before. It was almost like he was goading her on, proving to her that she was chained to the house, to them. He knew mentioning Willow would upset her. And it did. Spike might not have a soul, nor be a nice person… er… vampire. But he knew exactly what buttons to push on a person; both to make them feel better and then worse the next moment.

Taking a deep breath, she runs her fingers through her hair before tightening her arms around her middle, regretting not wearing a jacket. They said it was going to be warm out. Guess you can’t count on that, even in California.

She slowly lifted her hand up to knock and then decided against it. Pushing open the door quickly and walking in. “Dawn. Let’s go,” she spoke flatly, not looking over at Spike but feeling his gaze burn into her. She wasn’t in the mood for him and his ‘ohh I’m evil, I can wound little girls with my mean words’. She just wanted to take Dawn and go. She wanted to leave the crypt and find her quiet corner where nobody notices her and break down out of everyone’s way.

Spike watched Tara as if he was seeing a ghost. ‘Shit, Buffy used to do that…. She’ll never do it again now, and it’s your entire fault getting chucked off that tower when all you had to do was…. He tried to ignore the ever present voice in his head that reminding him that he was responsible for Buffy’s death. Before Spike knew it he was back wallowing in that black hole of misery he’d been living in for months.

“Hey Tara!” Dawn popped into the room and Tara managed a small smile; even with all the grief Dawn always managed to find some way to be… cheerful. Tara found herself envying that in a way.

“R-ready to go?” Tara’s voice was low, still trying to keep her emotions quiet. Dawn nodded and grabbed her bag before hurrying out of the crypt, yelling something about running home to Janis’.

With a sigh, Tara turned to leave but felt a cool hand grip onto her arm roughly, stopping her in her tracks. Licking her lips Tara struggled to keep her voice in an even and low tone. “Leave me alone Spike. I’m not in the mood for you to play your game of ‘how fast can I make her cry’.”

Spike growled, feeling his anger rising until Tara turned and looked at him. His eyes met hers and he saw something familiar in them; pain and sadness hidden away by anger. It was easier to get angry then it was to be hurt. He couldn’t help but wonder if she saw the same thing in his. It made him feel something else to see sadness and hurt in Tara’s eyes and that feeling didn’t sit well with him at all.

“Look, sorry about… I didn’t say it to hurt you, I just wanted… needed… Bloody hell,” he shouted angrily. “You’re not the only person that’s lost someone you know…” She pulled her arm away from his grasp and moved towards the door of the crypt.

Tara’s eyes started to sting and she knew she was on the verge of tears again, but she didn’t want it to be in front of Spike; she didn’t want or need pity.
"Pining after Buffy doesn't count as actually being with her, Spike. Doesn't add up to what Willow and I had..." The look on his face got to her. He actually looked...hurt.

Regretting her words she bit her lip and looked at her toes, her voice low when she finally spoke. "I-I'm sorry. Spike. I..." Tara sighed and shook my head, heading towards the door.

Spike sighed and shook his head. ‘Why couldn’t I just say something right for once in my sodding life?’ “Do you like kittens?” he blurted out, knowing that he was thinking was a bad idea, but what else could he do? The only other thing he had to offer was bourbon.

Tara stopped dead in her tracks and looked back at him. "K-kittens?" she murmured, eyeing him nervously wondering what he was leading too. If he was going to talk about torturing one Tara knew that her anger from last night would end up coming back.

Keeping herself guarded, she crossed her arms and looked at him, silently daring him to piss of a grieving Wicca. "Yes... Why?"

Spike paused and shifted on his heels, trying to think of the best way to word what he was about to say. ‘Oh sod it, I’d just leave the part about the kittens-as-the-main-course out.’ Clearing his throat he looked up at her finally. “Maybe you could use some company right now. Guy I know, couple of guys actually, uh… have… some kittens. Come out with me tomorrow night and I’ll get you one, if you like.”

For the first time in weeks, Tara found herself smiling. It was small, but it was a start. Her eyes moved over Spike to try and judge his intentions, trying to see if he was kidding or trying to be cruel in some sort of way. But when she looked at him and into his eyes she saw honesty and a bit of loneliness; maybe this was all about company and comfort.

After a small pause she found herself nodding quietly, knowing that they both couldn’t wallow in the misery they were in and the company would be good for them both. Tara also realized that out of everyone, Spike was the one person that knew where she was coming from and he seemed to actually care how she felt; even if he had a slightly twisted way of showing it.

"S-sure. I'll go w-with you," Tara murmured quietly, her voice having a small nervous edge to it. She blushed slightly and looked down at her feet. “I’d like that.”

“Right. Good.” He looked at her, his eyes studying her like she was a piece of art. Watching as she held it together while everyone else fell apart around her. Plus he knew she could hold her own, she knew exactly where to aim to hurt someone the most. He smiled slightly, realizing she was special but hating that it took something like this for anyone to see. He didn’t like even more that there wasn’t anything anyone could do about it. But he wasn’t one to dwell. “I’ll come get you around 10 o’clock then. Oh yeah, better bring a couple of quid with you,” he added. “I’m skint and these guys aren’t going to give away anything for free.” He chuckled and searched his pocket for his cigarettes. “Or at least not without a fight. Unless that’s what you’re looking for,” Spike joked, raising an eyebrow at her. “Blow off a bit of steam, so to speak?”

Spike was rambling and Tara looked hesitant, guilt creeping up into her eyes. ‘Women. Had to take everything so seriously.’

Turning up the charm, he smiled at her. “Come on. Turn a few demons into toads? Be a right laugh, that.” The way he grinned at her made Tara feel nervous, her mind starting to race with thoughts she shouldn’t be having. No, it's not a date; you’re seeing things that aren’t there. Even if he was, Spike is nothing but a big flirt and that’s how he talks; it’s nothing more than that. Why on earth would Spike want to date me? He wouldn't. Not the point. This isn't a date, this is.... something. This just is. That's it. It is. It's comfort, company. Well, they do say that misery loves company. So, I guess Spike's my company in all this, huh?

Sighing, she looked back at him nervously, chewing on her lip in that nervous fashion she had. The idea of going out sounded good to her, the idea of trying to relax and forget… Willow.

Guilt rose up inside her again; feeling selfish for wanting that when they’d just buried Willow. She'd been gone a lot longer, Tara, she reminds herself. Things were bad, things were headed in a bad place and nothing good would have come out of it. I know that it still doesn't help my guilt any. I still feel guilty about wanting to call it quits. I know I shouldn’t, she loved the magic’s more then you anyway. No, she didn't. Yes, well maybe so but magic was more important to her lately, even you can't deny that. No... I can't.

"Ok, I'll go," she finally mustered, knowing that she needed a way out and couldn’t keep drowning in all this grief. Tara shook her finger at him. "No making toads. If I accidentally turned you into one I'd have to go kissing frogs for a week." She teasingly made an ick face and turned to leave.

‘No, it's not a date; even with all Spike’s flirting he knows that too. It’s solace, it’s ‘misery loves company’ and Spike and I are going to take that ride together. Nothing more.

Tara turned back at him from the door. "Thanks, I ne…" Her voice faltered, making her hate how bad she was with words. "Just, thanks..." She parted her lips to speak but a loud crack of thunder broke her thoughts. Glancing out the crypt door she saw it was starting to get darker, the scent of rain coming into the crypt and with one final nod at Spike she left.

Comments

Posted by: denied_heaven (denied_heaven)
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC)
chris sleep

*hugs the poor mixed up sad things*
this is awesome
can't wait to see how it becomes Linds too

Posted by: The evilest evil that ever did evil (remember_nomore)
Posted at: April 10th, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
Linspara - Cake

*grin* Hehe. I swear you're the best feedbacker ever. lol.

No worries. Our urban cowboy will show up soon...very soon.

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: The evilest evil that ever did evil (remember_nomore)
Posted at: April 16th, 2006 12:43 am (UTC)
Spara - Haunted

Thank you so much. We hope you keep reading :)

We have at least 100 chapters outlined and just when you think you've got us figured out we're gonna fling you for a loop.

*grins*

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